I share with you on this blog, a very intimate story. Particularly as a man. Over the weekend just gone, was my friend/ex-clients wedding. I was ecstatic that she was getting married to the man of her dreams. Particularly pleased because in her own words, I had helped her go from being a girl to a women hence she could handle the responsibility of marriage.
Now this is where the story turns! For me anyway. At the wedding i had bouts of sadness that I hadn’t met the love of my life yet. The day after the wedding, as I woke up and slung my feet out my bed & onto the floor, I just started crying profusely. I balled like there was no tomorrow. The pain in my heart was excruciating. To add to this, I had a fever and my body had gone weak, Total shut down.
On this day I literally slept all day. A combination of feeling physically weak and carrying a thick cloud of depression over my head, being the reason. Having done so much groundbreaking coaching with my clients and having faced so many of my own demons, I knew that if I could just connect with these emotions and cry it out, the depression would lift. But on this occasion this wasn’t happening.
Anyway, moving on to today, two days after the wedding, I woke up feeling depressed again. I just didn’t know how to heal this part of me. Adam to the rescue was the thought that popped up. My friend who always knows how to help me to heal my stuff. As we skyped, I explained the depression that was present. Now before I explain what happened next, let me explain a little about the beautiful man that is Adam. Having known Adam for a few years , he has been one man who has always been in touch with his emotions. Able to cry at the drop of a hat, without the need for bravado and simultaneously be in his authentic masculine, An example for men.
Hence up till 3 years ago, i couldn’t cry and I knew intuitively that not being able to cry was a recipe for disaster. Why? because it is akin to filling up a ballon with gas and not expecting it to burst if you keep filling it up, without releasing any gas. Adam was the man to show me that a man is no less masculine if he is able to cry. If anything, he comes into his true power when he is connected to his emotions.
Now to complete the skype story. After I explained my pain to Adam, his presence and his direction, managed to bring down my subtle guard that had stopped me from crying this depressive feeling out. And then I just started sobbing. I cried my heart out. I could literally feel this depression leaving through my eyes. I probably cried for 10mins. The relief was immeasurable.
This dark feeling had lifted after 24 long hours but only When I was able to connect and become fully present with how I felt and allow the body to heal naturally, with the release of this built up pressure in the form of tears.
In this world, for many a folk, crying is frowned upon. Men are definitely not meant to cry and unfortunately women have also become apologetic about their tears.
Since I have reconnected with my emotions, I have experienced profound states of ecstasy. Crying is a perfectly designed mechanism of the human body to help us release unhealthy emotions and heal imbalances If you interrupt this natural process, you are surely headed towards disaster. All that stored up anguish surely has to go somewhere.
I often suggest to my friends and clients, out of humour, that there should be crying booths on every street corner. May be this would stop people from projecting their pain on others and help them to find peace. Solutions to problems are often found after a good cry.
In summary, from my heart to yours, tears are your best friend. Don’t relegate them to the bottom division. They have a powerful transformative function. A function that might just stop you from doing something stupid, that you come to regret.
p.s. Just to give you a clue. What is the feeling you’ve felt after you’ve allowed yourself to have a good cry? Is it one of more heaviness or lightness?……I rest my case